How to Begin...

To describe the last few days in just one word it would be: emotional. We have felt fear, concern, anxiety, sadness, relief, gratitude, and pure joy. I have not had a chance to write this experience down in my journal and since I am doing it here for the sake of informing anyone who's interested I will go ahead and record the details I can recall.

I woke up on Thursday morning at about 5:40am. Jacob had worked that night and wouldn't be home for a couple of more hours. I had already gone to the bathroom at about 2:00am and so I wondered why I was awake. Typically, I do not get out of bed until the boys wake me around 7:00. I sat there for a minute and then without thinking I climbed out of bed and walked out of the bedroom. I was halfway through the office when I heard some noise coming from Ben and Max's bedroom. By the time I got the door open I could clearly hear that the moans and groans were coming from Max. As I ran to him and called his name I received no response. I got to his bed and pulled him out, feeling cold vomit on the sheets as I did so. In the dark I could feel Max's twitching and very unnaturally tense body. I instantly knew he was having a seizure.

After a phone call to 911 and Jacob, I sat in the rocking chair by the front door and sang primary songs while Max trembled in my arms. Although watching him was terrifying I couldn't help but think how peaceful Max seemed. He wasn't thrashing and convulsing. He seemed to be torqued to the left, looking up to the left, his left hand clenching and unclenching and mumbling and biting his teeth. As awful as it was and the wild things that ran through my mind, I knew that Max was not in pain. I know this was a tender mercies from our Heavenly Father. I knew he wasn't hurting. Within 5 minutes two fire engines and an ambulance arrived and Jacob arrived shortly after. They found he did not have a fever, which is the most common reason for children to have seizures. I rode in the front of the ambulance and poor Jacob had to drive behind. He felt helpless as he watched the paramedics working on Max through the back window. Max wasn't coming out of the seizure and so they ended up medicating him to stop it. They took us to the "Resucitation Room" which is not exactly what a mother wants to read when you really don't know what's going on. Fortunately, the seizure had ended and he just seemed to be sleeping. It took about 2 hours for Max to gain consciousness. It was two hours spent wondering if he would be able to speak, if he would be paralyzed (in his unconscious state he would only move his right side),if he would be able to talk... As soon as he woke up he mumbled "Water Please."; still so sweet and polite after all he had gone through! We ended up spending two days in the hospital and found that Max had a Partial Complex Seizure originating in the right hippocampus that lasted at least 25 minutes. He had a CT, EEG, and MRI done, all of which were inconclusive. We really don't know why this happened to Max. We will have to go back in the next few months to have the tests done again. He also wasn't able to keep any liquids or solids down and so they had to keep him on an IV. At the end of the second day, he finally ate a much needed meal, kept it down and so we were finally able to go home! We have had two days at home and I am so pleased to say that Max is 100% back to normal. He is happy, smily, and running around as usual. We are so grateful to come out of this experience with a healthy little boy and with the knowledge that we are never left alone. I am grateful for incredible doctors and nurses who were so gentle and kind to Max. I am thankful for neighbors, friends, and family who jumped to help us when we were in desperate need of it. I am deeply grateful for the whisperings of the Spirit that got me out of bed and that bestowed that peaceful feeling in my heart when my mind was frantic. I am grateful for a husband who worthily holds the priesthood and could bless our little boy as he lay unconscious on the hospital bed. I am most especially grateful for our Heavenly Father who hears and answers the pleading prayers of a mother and father. Heavenly Father lives, loves us, and mercifully blesses us.

After we knew that Max was OK, we caught just a few photos. He was just so cute in that elephant hospital gown, especially when he got his appetite back and would call, "Nurse! More popsicle please!" The nurses couldn't get enough of him! Oh how we love this little guy!